Many dreams
Min Bahadur Bham once said in a television interview about the common folly that most of the people did was that they saw many dreams and never became persistent in fulfilling one. Whereas as for him he said it was a childhood dream to be a director of a movie to which he has been passionately following. Min Bahadur Bham was right on about his comment on dreams. It got me into thinking about my own dreams, aspirations, wishes and ambitions. Then suddenly I found it hard to answer about my own true calling. What do I dream to be? What do I want to become? These questions sound simple but can put off anybody.
When I was asked about my aim in life, I used to have a ready made answer that was fed by my parents’ burgeoning demand and expectation from me. I thought I would have liked to be a ‘doctor’. Well I really liked to believe that I could be a doctor. But I turned out be a blood squeamish which really turned me off about becoming a doctor.
In my many episodes of dream sometimes I wanted to become a writer and then sometimes the dream of being a filmmaker gripped me. I fantasised about these things incessantly. I regard a writer and a filmmaker to be an epitome of creativity. I am always in awe with their persona. And just putting myself into such personas provide me with mental gratification.
Then came the obsession of Sherlock Holmes stories. I truly believed in Holmes character. I have read Sherlock Holmes so many times that I refuse to believe it to be a fictional character. How I wished (still wish) to be like Holmes with such mental prowess that any kind of mystery seemed solvable.
My tryst with Psychology
Sherlock Holmes inspired me to study the behaviors of people but I was not sure how to do that until I came to know about ‘Psychology’. I feel ashamed of my present slothfulness compared to my hunger for psychology when I was in school days. I was self motivated to study the subject and found it quiet interesting. I was damn sure that this would be my subject of interest and make career on it.
I am now at the end of my Masters and at my wit’s end how I should further my interest in Psychology. Should I be in academics ? Should I do Phd? What to study in Phd? Or do counseling? Or research? These questions keep me at the edge. I do not have the convincing answers of these questions.
The ultimate dream
Every one dreams to have a good, happy and prosperous life. A job with decent salary, a beautiful family, materialistic wealth, good health and happy life. We have instrumental dreams to fulfil this ultimate dream. Even in ultimate dream, I observe that ‘money’ has taken a precedence over many other things in life.
People can have different and multiple avenues to fulfill their ultimate dream or goal. I think we become more confused , puzzled, uncertain, fidgety and nervous when we focus too much on our ultimate dream. Infact this dichotomy of ultimate and instrumental goal should not exist in the first place. In idealistic situation we should just have a dream and pursue it wholeheartedly regardless of it’s derivatives.
Atlast,
I concur about what Min Bahadur Bham has to say about the dream but I beg to differ in one single point. May be he is lucky to have realized his dream early in life but that should not necessarily be a timeline for everybody to realize their dream. Some are early bloomers while the others are late bloomers. And I believe in what C.S. Lewis has to say about dream – You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.
Lets just be patient with ourselves. Be reflective and meditative. We just need to have a belief in ourselves. Lets enjoy this process of self discovery. And in the meantime keep on dreaming..
Thoughts and Reminiscence 